I was away from home for exactly 83 hours, and these are the flyers that were waiting for me in the hallway on my return, scattered, almost randomly: 7 food-delivery ads, four for pizza, and one each for sushi (fish from sustainable stock only), a spicy Indian and a pancake shop (101 flavours!), a garage sale (which, sadly, I missed), 2 typed and photocopied notes offering house-cleaning services (special detergents for pets with ticks), a flyer from a hair-salon featuring a slightly out-of-focus photo of a woman who, I am positive, is wearing a wig (first visit free for ladies!), an ad for oriental foot-massage, offering house calls at low rates, 2 notes from future tellers (one with a picture of a crystal ball, the other with a question mark ― but frankly, would you want to know your future? ― my remark, not on the note), a leaflet for marriage counselling and an advert for funeral services (scary as they were lying side by side ― which one comes first, you wonder), and, as if to compensate, an ad for a topless bar just across the street, then a brochure offering Spiritual Awareness courses organised by a non-denominational christian community (sombre design, wouldn’t attract me even if I felt weak on my spiritual awareness), an ad for removal services and two for mattresses (some larger than my bedroom), and a note for a lost cat, whose low-resolution photo reminds me of the woman on the flyer from the hair-salon. And all that through a door with a “No Junk Mail” sign.